False Hope

This day a year ago was a fairly quiet one. My mom took me back to our house to get some things from home and then over to her and my dad's to spend a little bit of time with Alana. While we were out, Tom called to tell me that the cardiologist had done another Echo and thought he found the pulmonary artery. This was great news. We thought that maybe Peter would be going home with medication or maybe at the most, a heart catheterization. Little did we know how wrong we were. It was a nice reprieve to think we had faced all we were going to have to face. However, this false hope made the following day much worse, but I will post about that tomorrow.

This morning, we took Peter to an appointment with the cardiologist. Peter did horrible! He is very untrusting of anyone other than us and he doesn't like being messed with AT ALL. The tests they do don't hurt (EKG, blood pressure, pulse oxygen), but Peter has been stuck so many times at the Dr.'s that he has no tolerance. The cardiologist couldn't even hardly hear his heart/chest with the stethoscope because Peter was so upset. The Dr.could only get a few seconds at a time. The cardiologist wanted to go ahead and schedule Peter for the same round of tests that he had back in August to be done again in a few weeks (sedated lung profusion study and Echo). He said he heard a little more of the heart murmer on the left side of Peter's chest, whereas before it was more equal, but he also said he wouldn't put a lot of stock in his physical exam because Peter was so upset. The purpose of doing these tests is to watch that pulmonary artery so that if intervention is necessary, the sooner it's done the better. If intervention is needed, it would most likely be a heart catheterization.

I will admit that just being there today, coupled with the fact that I've been doing such much reminiscing lately has brought my emotions to the surface again. I think in the last few months, I've come dangerously close to thinking of Peter as "normal." Even though he is awfully close to "normal," today was a reminder that he is a cardiac kid and always will be. He will always require follow-up and possibly maintenance. I hate that. I so want normal and guarantees that I will NEVER have to again go through what we went through last year at this time. However, despite what some preachers say, that is not what God promises. Jesus' words were, that in this world we WILL have trials and tribulations (John 16:33). There is no escape from it. Jesus also tells us our response though - we are to take heart, because He has overcome the world! That is why we can live as more than conquerors. It is when we cling to the false hope that we won't have trials, that we are defeated. Our only shot at victory is in Christ alone.

Please continue to pray for Peter. My specific request is the same as it's been - that the artery will have grown sufficiently for NO intervention. When we know the dates of Peter's tests, I'll post them.