Open-Heart Surgery

One year ago today, at this time, Peter lay on an operating table with his chest open, his heart stopped while a heart/lung bypass machine performed the functions of the two most vital organs in the human body, with his heart cut open and literally in the hands of the surgeon, Dr. Watts, while ultimately in the hands of his Creator God. A big day, the outcome of which has forever changed our lives.

The day began very early in the morning. Like I shared before, Tom and I were able to sleep a good bit the night before, which was a surprise. The supernatural strength and calm that had descended the previous evening was still enabling us all through the morning. I can remember wondering, "When will this calm leave me? When am I going to fall apart?" Tom and I got up and got ready and left the house with Peter around 5:30 a.m. The drive down to the hospital was calm and quiet. Peter slept, which was a huge relief compared to how fussy and agitated he had been prior to the heart catheterization when he had had to go without food. Again, this could only be attributed to the Lord Almighty.

We got to the hospital and checked in. We were taken to a pre-op holding room, where they did some very minor preliminary tests on Peter (height, weight, blood pressure, etc.). The anesthesiologist came in and met with us and explained his part in Peter's surgery. Dr. Watts came in and again went through the objectives for the day. At this point, we still didn't know if we would be dealing with heart surgery or open-heart surgery. Dr. Watts said that he would try to have someone provide us with updates whenever possible, but that his attention would be given to Peter so we may not always get to know what was going one. This was, of course, fine with us. Much as we wanted to know how things were going, we wanted Dr. Watts' focus to be on Peter more than on easing our minds.

After about an hour in the pre-op room, it was time to say goodbye. I had been holding Peter for a good while and he was asleep in my arms. This was such a blessing. Tom and I both kissed him and calmly handed him to the nurse. Peter never woke up. Such a big moment, yet so guarded with the peace that passes all understanding.

A hospital worker took us to the surgical waiting room and when we told the receptionist that we had a lot of friends coming, they gave us a private waiting room. Shortly after getting settled, many friends began arriving. Tom and I ate a little breakfast and mostly we all just talked and visited, and I must include, we laughed. I never before realized the importance of laughter in a crisis situation. It can often be as much of a release as tears and there is a time for both. I'm so thankful for those that cried with us and also for those that made us laugh.

Throughout that long morning and afternoon, we got about three updates, the first (around 10:00) was to tell us that Peter did have to go on the heart/lung bypass machine (which meant we were dealing with open-heart surgery), the second (around 11:45) to say that Dr. Watts was progressing as planned, and the third (about 12:45) to tell us that Peter was off the heart/lung machine and doing well. Finally, in the afternoon about 3:20, we were told Peter was in the CVICU (cardiovascular ICU) and we would be able to see him soon. Again, contrary to the heart cath the week before, we were prepared for the sight of Peter's condition. Although the sight was difficult, Tom and I had gained an entire education on congenital heart defects and their related surgeries in the previous week. Also, the great ICU nurses were very helpful and informative. They patiently answered every single question we had. Like I said in the posts last week, communication at the hospital was superb.

Tom and I spent a long time with Peter and then we went down to the cafeteria to eat dinner. While there, a friend whose baby had his own miraculous story, sat with us. This friend was another source of great encouragement, having been through such similar circumstances. When life becomes extreme, a friend that can completely relate is invaluable.

We went back to Peter's room in the evening and met the night nurse that would be taking care of him. We finally settled into our sleep-in hospital rooms (just down the hall from the CVICU) about 10:00. While getting ready for bed, I looked through some of the care packages we had been given while we were with Peter. In these packages, were two stories of babies that had died - one during open-heart surgery and one soon after surgery in recovery. Looking back, this was such a mistake. I knew quite well the realities of what Peter was facing, it did me no good to read about it. Facing death is one thing, dwelling on it is another. I went to sleep that night with anxiety for the first time in over 24 hours. What a foothold I had given to the enemy, especially with what was yet to come..................